Valentiniosity

That's my word for a person's attitude toward the 14th of February. There's your broken-hearted Romeo who feels that this day is another twisting of the knife stuck firmly in his perineum. The multi-cat-owning single-woman in her 30s which is a broad stereotype native to Western movies who guilt-trips her friends into taking her out with them and then subsequently spends the whole night thinking of ways to convince everyone else in love to clean the underside of a guillotine blade.

However if we venture outside the abstract, attitudes towards Valentine's day are so varied that there are almost no generalizations to be drawn from them. Except when it comes to women (you predictable creatures, said he in a paternalistic tone). Women, of every size, shape and color, love flowers (no need to deny it ladies) while every human being (get ready for an exclusionary condition to your humanity) loves chocolate. So the rest depends on how dumb anyone is to refuse two of these irresistable goodies just to make a point.

I on the other hand am not confused at all about a day which, in today's world, has nothing to do with Saints and religions. And all because I have been asked to be someone's Valentine and that someone is mine as well (take that all you suicidal loners. HAH!). If not, you might have found me lecturing anyone who would listen on the pointless evils of the least offensive four-letter word in English. But not this year. It's all pink clouds, rainbows and butterflies for me.

Alright I'm grossing myself out now so time to go to song before I induce a worldwide pukademic. I normally don't do this but I feel it's only fair to let the theme song for love's greatest holiday come from the culture where 99.9% of the music consists of love songs. Here's Tera Mera Pyaar Sanam sung by what looks like a prison dyke and some garden gnome at a piano. Hell, I can't do this on Valentine's day. Falguni Patak and Bombay Vikings, I love you too. Mwah. Let your love light shine through everybody!